This is my emo period...

Saturday, March 06, 2010

As he let the water from the hose ran down his whole body from top to toe, Fahmi considered the thought of going back home to Terengganu deeply... Why are u refusing to go home? He asked himself while looking into the small, smudgy bathroom mirror... He held the hose slightly above his head and showered his body and soul as he looked for the answer...

"Is it because of the distance?" He questioned himself... "No... Well, yeah the 7 - 8 hours bus ride from Melaka to Terengganu is a pain in the ass (literally) but it's not it... I can endure the journey..."

The water seemed to be cooler when he remembered the text message his dad sent him just a few minutes ago... *Mlm ni call ma..ma rindu amy.-*...

"Yes ma... I miss u too..."

"Maybe the fact that there's nothing fun for me to do there is the reason I'm being reluctant... I would either just be sitting behind a desk entertaining annoying customers or sitting on a couch watching the fourth rerun of CSI..." His thoughts went deeper... He was sure that boredom is the rope pulling him away from the thoughts of home... "I would literally be counting the days until the moment I get on the bus to Melaka again... I cant really stand not being free..."

His mother once said he's the most obedient among the four brothers... The most pleasant... He never object nor whine when being asked to do something while the others are always rebellious... "Amy, jaga kedai..." "Amy, ambil pinggan kat dapur..." "Amy, sapu sampah..." "Amy this, Amy that..." Probably that's why he always be the one doing all the chores and looking after the shop...

He realised how deeply in thought he was when instead of applying a handful of shower cream to his bare chest, he put it on his head... Heh~ He smirked... He hosed down the soapy cream and applied another handful to his whole arms... 

He loves it whenever his mother wraps her arms around him as she rests her head on his right shoulder... A proper hug... That's what he calls it...  The warmth, the care, the love... Owh, how he longed for it... Though he rarely gets it... The only moment he has the chance to feel her embrace is when he was about to get into the bus to Melaka...

He missed her so much... So much that it hurt... 

When did it start? This reluctance... He remembered as a child he made a vow that he wont leave this small place... Being witnessed by the sky and greeneries, on the top of a small hill, he vowed that he wont leave Ketengah Jaya... and even if he have to, he would always come back... So why he has broken the vow?

Because he loves the freedom that he gained outside... He loves the cinemas and shopping malls... He enjoys his fun friends and companions... He cherishes the love that he found... and none of them can be found in Ketengah Jaya... 

Talking about love, he thought that his girlfriend could be one of the reasons... He cared for her so much and always worries about her being alone in Melaka, having nobody to send her to debate training or accompany her to eat dinner... He has spent so much time taking good care of her that he forgot that she can take care of herself...


"Sigh... I'm such a mess... 'Lupa daratan'... I'm like Remy Ishak in Nur Kasih... Hehe... Adam..."

"Balik la..." 
"Cuti ni aku balik..." he said to himself as the dried off his body using a blue towel... "Yeah!!"




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