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Sunday, February 28, 2010

The first time I discovered the Internet was when I was in Form 3 in a cyber cafe (CC) near my school... The first time I tried to surf the net, I unintentionally ended up opening a porn website... The one who used the computer before me had put the site as the home page for the browser... The minute I saw some naked Japanese girls appearing on screen, I panicked... Shit! How to close this thing?? I tried hitting the SPACE button, but it made the naked pictures larger until I could see the details clearly... That was the time when I learned the definition of pubic hair... I tried pressing the ESC button but nothing happened... The CC owner saw the enlarged picture of a vagina and "EHEMM!! EHEMMM!!!" loudly... My face turned red... I got up slowly and went to him... "Bang, macammana nak tutup benda tu? Saya tersalah tekan..."

After that I found out that the person who set up the porn site as the home page was the owner's son... Damn pervert...

Well, as a school boy, for me, the MAIN function of a computer was to play games... I remember lying to my parents about going to school for extra classes but instead of going through the school gates, I walked to the nearest CC and committed virtual mass murder through the game of Counter Strike and Half Life... While my friends were more eager in watching porn, laughing as loud as they could whenever the porn actresses made lustful yet ridiculous sound of orgasm, I would rather kill some terrorists or weird looking aliens and robots with some bad-ass guns... 

I went to the CC so often, sometimes I would be the one closing it... Shutting down all of the computers and speakers, arranging back all the seats, turning off the fans and lights and finally, locking all doors... Yeah, I did those things whenever the CC owner seemed to be preoccupied with other businesses... Not to mention, during weekends, I would be the first customer... I usually arrived earlier than the CC owner...

The other thing that I enjoyed doing with a computer was entering the chat room... Once, I used westlife_boy as username... but I stopped using it after I got bashed up by some guy...

"U r using westlife_boy as username? How sick is that?! Hahahaha!!! U must be gay"

"No... I'm not gay..."

"Yes u r motherfucker!! A gay motherfucker!! HAHAHAHA!!"

"Damn you!"

"Is that the best u can do?? U really r gay!! Go suck someone's dick and cry to mama!!"

*westlife_boy has left the chat room*

I was really young and the boys from Westlife had really cool hair! Furthermore, their songs were really good to hear for a boy with a high level of libido and 'jiwang'ness... It's natural for a boy to go through that kind of phase in his life!

There were once I almost got into a fight with one of the regular customers... That guy loved to chat and flirt with girls in the chat room, so I decided to play a prank on him because I was kinda bored... I used up a female username, angelia_cute and then chat with him...

"Hi Angelia. ASL?"

"15. F. Selangor. U?"

"16. M. Tereganu. U ngah watpe?"

"Baru bangun tido... Tak mandi lagi... :-)"

"U ngah pakai baju apa?"

"Baju tido la..."

"Mesti seksi... :-D"

"Takde la..."

"U pernah melancap??"

"Apa tu?"

"Mari saya ajar..."

"Hmm... okey..."

"Mula-mula, bukak spender u..."

and then, he gave up the complete steps on how to masturbate using fingers... and he was really detailed on the instructions... I showed it to the CC owner and some other regular customers that I knew... They were laughing their head off while the guy continued to give more details on how to play with urself... One of the customers was dumb enough to inform the guy about what was really happening and the true identity of 'angelia'... Which was me... and he got up, checked my computer, grabbed me by the collar, and tried to punched me on the face... "Kau ingat kelakar ke hah?!!" Luckily, the CC owner stopped him... 

From that moment on, I never want to try to chat or text with a stranger anymore... because, who knows, the stranger might be your friend, trying to set a prank on u... Like what I did to that guy... :-D

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