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August 27, 2014

Things People Didn't Tell Me About Parenting

Your baby will fall, knock his head on something, have bruises, cuts & etc

The last thing I wanna do is physically hurt our baby. But these stuff just happen no matter how careful I've been. Ubaid had fallen from the bed a few times, accidentally bumped his head against the wall, cut his lips, and etc. 

I always feel bad & guilty whenever he's hurt. The scary thing is how he doesn't understand that he can get hurt. 

Other people think they can name your kid better.

"Hey, Fahmi. What's your boy's name?"

Muhammad Ubaid. 

"Ubaid? Why not Ubaidillah? or Zack? or Afro? or Muhammad Danish Polish Swedish?"

My wife and I named him Muhammad Ubaid because my mother in law likes the name Ubaid so much. Yes, we are aware that the meaning of Ubaid is slave (hamba)... but Ubaid is also a name of sahabat Nabi Muhammad. We did our research already, man. So quit modifying our kid's name, bro. Ubaid is a sweet name. 

No offense to people with names Ubaidillah, Zack, Afro & Muhammad Danish Polish Swedish.

Everybody will have an opinion on how to properly raise your child.

Le wife and I had been enduring so many unwanted advice on parenting since day one of pregnancy. Well, some advice we gladly take and some we ignore. We in fact welcome any advice. Just don't freakin' force it on us. Yes, it worked on your child but we're not the same! Ubaid is not yours!

The thing that bothered us the most was how so many people insisted that Ubaid should sleep in a buai. You know, the one that you hang on a spring and you henjut-henjut until baby is asleep. We refused to use buai because we travel a lot (and plan to travel a lot). If we train Ubaid to sleep in a buai, that means having to bring the buai everywhere we go. If not, he'll have trouble sleeping. In a hotel, where to gantung buai?? So we train him to sleep on a bouncer instead.

The "I have a baby" excuse.

"I have a baby, can we meet at a place closer to my house?"

"I can't lend you money because I have a baby."

My friends must be quite annoyed whenever I use that excuse. Seriously though, it's a legit excuse. My baby loves car rides but when a trip takes too long, he'll become bored and cranky. Just imagine being stuck in a traffic jam with your child crying. Besides that, as we all know, having a kid is costly. Do I have to elaborate on that? Okey, here's the list - Pampers, milk, new outfits almost every month since he's growing so fast okey I'm just kidding maybe every three to four months, carseat, baby shampoo, skin care product for rashes, toys and the list go on.

Thank God for understanding friends.

You get to annoy your friends on social media with your cute family pictures.

Not everyone will be annoyed though. Some will go "Awwwww". The key is, no humble bragging captions.

Getting a baby to sleep can be extremely hard.

Ubaid is now so active. He's like on playing mode 24/7. Getting him to sleep or just take a short nap or just rest for a while can be quite tricky and exhausting.

Many times I have to dodoi him for almost an hour or so.

When dealing with this kind of situation, it's very important for me to keep my cool. Slow talk often work.

Spending time with your baby can be really rewarding.

Despite all the hardship of parenting, it's really worth it. To see Ubaid running around, exploring stuff, doing what babies do, is so fun. That smile. That look on his face when he discover something like how the sand feels or what a flashlight can do.

It's really something.

People will feed your baby stuff you don't want him to eat.

My parents, for example. They sometimes feed Ubaid, Apollo cakes, ice cream, jellies & other junk food that they think are not junk food.

We don't want Ubaid to eat those stuff because they're quite unhealthy and when he eats any of them, he'll be full and refuse to eat rice and drink milk.

The playground can be quite scary.

When I have the chance, I will take Ubaid to the playground.

Ubaid is rather small since he's just 1. Most of the kids at the playground are usually bigger and older than him; 3 to 10 years old. Bigger kids tend to be quite violent, by kids' standards. They like to run and push each other, wrestle and etc. Not to mention, I met a few kids who like to bully those who are smaller than them.

Many times I feel like smacking a kid because he pushed and bullied Ubaid. There's one time when a kid acted all mighty like he owned the playground and refused to let Ubaid play. Eiiiii aku sepak jugak kang budak ni.

Yes, there are playgrounds meant for kids Ubaid's age but the problem is, budak-budak ni conquer semua kawasan playground.

August 4, 2014


As you read this, just bear in mind that everything I write is based on my own opinion. This is a personal blog, so every post is personal. Personal views, personal opinions which are based on what I've read & seen. 

Okey now.

One of the hot issues in Malaysia right now is the issue of boycotting companies that have been financially supporting Israel in their military terror against Gaza civilians. Among the companies that are supposed to be boycotted are McDonald's, Starbucks, Tesco & Loreal. 

Throughout this week, I've seen pictures of people giving speeches in front of McDonald's, people wearing ski masks displaying SAVE GAZA! BOIKOT ISRAEL!! banners just outside McDonald's & people posting pictures of other people eating McDonald's online. I also read tweets mentioning a Starbuck's employee was beaten for refusing to quit his job, McDonald's staff members were harassed & spit on. 


What the hell?? 

Public shaming?? Harassment?? Are those the Islamic way? 

Yes, I praise you for your effort & commitment on trying to boycott those Israel supporting companies. But there's no need for you to harass their staff. 

We can just all peacefully boycott by not buying the products. That's all. 

You want to rally, go do it at appropriate, permitted places. 

Islam teaches us to be gentle. To be peaceful. 

Bukan senang nak cari kerja. Staf McDonald's tu ada yang dah kerja bertahun-tahun, dari jadi kuli hingga la naik pangkat jadi manager. Put yourselves in their shoes la. Takkan la senang-senang dia nak tukar kerja semata-mata sebab kau suruh. Kalau kau tolong tawarkan dia peluang kerja yang lagi bagus, okey la. Tapi kau pukul diorang, ludah muka diorang, maki-maki diorang. 

Be Islamic, bro. Jangan la paksa-paksa. 

Boikot secara aman & buat apa yang kita mampu. Jangan beli produk zionis melainkan kita memang betul-betul perlukannya. Banyakkan doa & solat hajat. Bagi derma. 

Kita bukan askar, Malaysia bukan kuasa besar dari segi ketenteraan, jadi itu saja yang kita mampu buat. Kuasa besar Islam yang lain senyap je... Itu menyedihkan. Umat Islam tak bersatu disebabkan lain fahaman. Akibatnya, zionis bermaharajalela. Nak harapkan US? PBB? Kuasa besar yang lain?? Diorang buat pekak... buat bodo je. Not their problem. Tak menguntungkan mereka pun kalau tolong Gaza. Takde minyak. 

Betulkan saya kalau saya silap cakap ye. Peace.