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June 8, 2011

Just Send Me Already...

The moment seemed perfectly sentimental - sitting on an office chair beside a window, watching the sunset while listening to Avril Lavigne's Goodbye... It almost made me cry... Well, the situation was not the contributor to my teary left eye but instead, it was the various thoughts that crossed my head as I watched the scene outside of the window getting dimmer... and dimmer...

The first thought was the fact that I would most probably be leaving the place soon... or later... When and where to? I didn't even know since the decision is not mine to make... I've been at this place for more than 6 years... The thought of letting go of most of the things I'm familiar with seemed so hard for me... The people, the environment, the place, the memories... Wow... It would be such a huge step... To put all of my belongings into boxes, travel to the new destination that I would refer to as my new home, meet new people (the most difficult thing to do), adapt to the new environment... Huge step indeed... 

The scariest thought of all was about the long distance relationship with my girl... Even after only a few days being apart, I've felt the bursting feeling on loneliness... The past bad moments of being away from each other for quite some time were telling me that I should be concerned... It's not about a matter of trust or loyalty... It's more about boredom... Conversing via the phone or texting is definitely not my forte... I'm afraid that I would bore her with my lame and brief set of words... I would prefer talking with her in person... "I shall go and visit her often"... I was determined...

Before I could think further, Ridhwan showed up and took a seat near me... The small cubicle we've been spending most of our time while at work seemed so welcoming... Though it's not comfortable since that small space is shared by many, we still come for we feel it is the only place we feel a sense of belonging... I thought that after my girlfriend, Ridhwan would be the next person I'm gonna miss after I leave... On the day when we received our degrees, I wanted to say to him, "We started this together, we ended this together..."... He's the first person I made friends with upon coming to the university and now he's like a brother to me... Even after graduation, we're still together until this very moment... I appreciate everything he had done to me and I wondered if I would ever find a friend like him at the next place I'm gonna be settling at... 

Though I'm quite hesitant about moving out, I too wished that those Kementerian people would assign my posting a.s.a.p... It's because I wanna move on with my life... Now I'm like hanging on a fence waiting to fall on either a field of green grass or hard ground... I want to be on one of those side and start figuring out what plans to take for my own self development and my future... Since I don't have a choice (actually I do but it shall cost me), just send me already!

1 comments:

MeerSha..! said...

jh perjalanan luas pemandangan..no worries..xkn nk dok melaka je kn..xbekembang lgsg..heee

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